The Movie That Should Have Never Existed

Something compelled me to do this.

Perhaps it’s my sickness talking here but no it goes deeper than that because now I’m sober enough from my medicine intake to actually sit down and write this up.

Let’s face it. America has fucked up almost every foreign franchise that is good and adored by fans everywhere.

But nothing, absolutely nothing could prepare me for the worst of the worst; The time they actually fuck up one of their own.

I was appalled, left mouth agape and speechless beyond words as I forced myself to finish watching the movie.

Why did I do this to myself? Why had I not paid attention to my fellow friends that had witnessed the torture a year and a half before me? Because I was sick and sick people do some crazy shit I’ll tell you that.

So what had me so appalled that I could only stare at my computer screen speechless and wanting to utter every curse word I know?

I only have three words for you all; The Last Airbender.

Let’s face it, America has butchered series after series and in this blog I highly doubt I’ll ever get tired of repeating it but why? Why in their right mind would they butcher and turn their most amazing, breathtaking cartoon series of the new millennium into a live action movie?

The answer to that is that it’s simply what we do, we’re materialistic assholes that only have one thing in mind; Money.

Many will recall Avatar The Last Airbender, a cartoon series in Nickelodeon that lasted a few seasons and was quite entertaining to watch.

This series had it all. There was actually good action, humor and a pretty consistent plot that actually compels and draws you in. Aang, a technically speaking hundred and twelve year old kid who as the title says, is the last airbender. Katara and Sokka, from a water tribe find him in ice with his Bison, a flying monster of some sort named Appa. Together they’re on a quest, teach Aang the rest of the elements in time to stop the fire nation’s lord from gaining total control. Sounds easy enough, now what? Things only go downhill from there and soon they will learn that everything is not as easy as they had originally thought. They make friends, enemies and help a lot of people along the way that eventually do help them out too and there are not so many filler episodes as you actually would think there is. Most that would seem filler-ish actually serve a purpose later on.

But enough about the cartoon. Let us go and review, The Last Airbender 2010. It starts pretty much similar to the way the cartoon series starts out but wait a minute what the hell happened to Katara and Sokka? They look nothing at all like their counterparts and frankly neither do the rest of the cast. I get it, there’s a recession going on and most actors were most likely cast on lousy pay but they could have at least done an “effort”

Most of the plot is changed, most names are mispronounced, the costumes are horrible, the dialogue made me want to puke and by now I was thinking okay, maybe the effects will save this from turning into another Dragon Ball Evolution- Don’t even get me started on that.

Are you kidding? Are you freaking kidding me!? I admit that at first I was entranced by the effects but after a while I just lost interest. Water bending, earth bending, fire bending looked NOTHING like what I imagined and what saved it from being a complete and utter disaster was that hey, I actually liked Aang’s costume, props and his airbending. Oh wait pardon me, I meant to say I liked Uung’s costume, props and airbending because in this world his name starts with a U.

When did ATLA finished anyways? Let’s see……it began on February 21, 2005 and the last episode was on July 19th, 2008. When was The Last Airbender released in the US? July 1st, 2010 you say?

So wait……… you’re telling me that the whole company behind this had about roughly two years to actually get their facts straight and do some research to get it done right and this is their final product? Hell even Avatar that blue alien film back in 2009 had better plot than this.

That’s it I’m done. I’m leaving this in the never to talk about vault because frankly, this should have not even made it past the drawing board. I just hope they’re not thinking of making a sequel to this- oh wait……Legend Of Korra is due to start in the middle of 2012 which means that by 2015 the latest, there will most likely be another butchered plot to send to that black hole of a vault it should stay in.